i'll find you beneath the ocean

bitch loves fish, y'all //

It's true, I fuckin' love fish.

// Each time I play Sims 3 I am in awe of myself more & more.
Look at this fucking gorgeous bullshit.

How do I do it?
// By not writing shit in my novel for NanoWrimo, that's for damn sure. Haven't touched it since my last entry.

// My grandmother died on November 5th from lung cancer.
She only knew she had it since like, December of last year. Before she found out she felt completely fine. She was a woman of the 60s and smoked like a chimney, though. The funeral was last Saturday, November 16th. My anxiety is so horrible and rampant that I freaked out about going for weeks. My family is very religious -- I am not. I thought for sure they were going to judge me, think less of me and make me feel awful about that.

But that didn't happen. //
It was a very nice funeral, and a nice weekend. We all got to hang out afterwards, talk & have a good time. I was going to visit CindyBob, my favorite aunt & uncle in October (my anxiety stopped me from doing that, too) and after the funeral we got to talk all night about movies and writing and getting in the zone (which is nearly impossible for me). I'll visit CindyBob for real over my birthday, in April.

Today wolfboy & I are looking at two houses.
// Then I will become very depressed when I can't move in fucking immediately.

i'll find you beneath the ocean

NANO // 3

I'll try and keep track of all I write this month.

On the 1st I wrote 221 words of Dream State.
On the 2nd I wrote nothing ... but I colored and illustrated scene(s) for Dream State.

And today I wrote ... some Dream State.
I don't feel like checking how many words.

// Then I played Sims 3.
Sora & Ti, hiding away, at the very end of all things. //

// Nano Wrimo is, so far, going terribly.
i'll find you beneath the ocean

2 months Bubblin'

It's been two months since I brought this absolutely vile beast home!

Went and got him a little pearlscale friend. Naming her (I've decided she's a her) either Coraline or Oddjob; can't decide. Maybe both? Both.

I've been writing. I wrote some ten odd pages of So Bitter Lemon. I also went off and wrote some Dream State and edited all that I have for Divide & Devour.

But it still feels like I haven't accomplished anything.

It's November 1st. Nano Wrimo! I should at least try to write in SOMETHING once a day, every day. To metaphorically participate. I'm just not together enough, not with it enough, to write 50k So Bitter Lemon words and have them be the best they can be (big trouble of mine -- can't just write slop. I have to like it enough to continue on to the next paragraph, next scene, next chapter). SO, spread the wealth!!!!!!!!!!!!

Couldn't do anything spooky for Halloween, because I'm pet sitting. I'm pretty bummed about it. Still have pumpkins to carve though.

Today I work at 11 and take over for Chrysann and I fucking hate that old troll bitch ass. She's fucking worthless. I'd much rather work at noon.

i'll find you beneath the ocean


You had fin rot for some stupid reason.
Your water was in tip top shape and you had a super cute aquaponic tank. Why the fin rot, lady?

You lived quite the life, almost lost your eye, I nursed you back to health.

You then either jumped out or were fished out of your tank by Pippin ... and then you dried up on the carpet. SIP Dolly.
i'll find you beneath the ocean

kingdom // come

I am at work writing this entry & let me tell you I should definitely not be.

Wanted to do some time ⏰ travel //
back to 2006 //

Here is the current status of TRAGIC KINGDOM.
Fret. = 28%, fully active
KH:JOT (my entry) = 0.01%, partially active
Snow Can't Tell Time = 2%, HIATUS - This may turn back into a comic...?
Fake Wings = HIATUS - Still haven't really thought about this...
HP Fic = DROPPED. I'm only going to pull one-shots with this, now.
Linitoga = DROPPED. I don't care about this anymore.
Sora x Tabbi mini-comic= 10%, HIATUS - No time to work on it.
Furuba mini-comic = 10%, HIATUS - I'm not sure I care about this.

1. Beat x Mushookie. Fic?
2. Jak x Kiky. Fic?
3. Human Knuckles. Fic?

// FFWD to 2019

Current status of NOTHING, NO NAME. My ... works?
Fret. = Done. Forgotten. Worthless to me now.
KH:JOT = Evolved. Improved. Now Dream State. I'd say 45% done, partially active.
Snow Can't Tell Time = Let's call this evolved. Improved. Recycled -- into So Bitter Lemon. 10% done. As active as my depression allows.
HP Fic = Evolved. Now Divide & Devour. 50-60% done? Slight hiatus.
XOXO = Off / on. 25-30% done.
Oh, Dear = Off / on. 15% done.

Fake Wings, Linitoga, 'mini-comics', all dead forever.
Beat x Mushookie, Jak x Kiky, Human Knuckles ... never began.


i'll find you beneath the ocean

Breach // breach // breach

On Tuesday Glen Lake offered me a position. I proceeded to hum and haw for days, trying to figure out which one I should officially accept. All signs pointed to Uptown; better benefits, included dental, close to home, the promise to teach me tech things. But Uptown had a lot of cons, too. Paper records, treatment room in the basement, narrow stairwell, unknown computer system (once they updated, coming in a month) and worst of all, Dentistry from Blue Pearl would soon be doing a CE there. LOL! I had just completely ditched them, and I did not want to see them again. So I switched to Glen Lake. I told Uptown I switched to Glen Lake, and they then offered me MORE money -- $16/hr.

I still wasn't so sure ...
Before my Uptown interview on Monday, I called City Cat Clinic and set up an interview. After Glen Lake offered, I emailed them saying I had two offers already and wouldn't be coming -- but Kelly H, the office manager, asked me to still come and meet them before I made my decision. How cute! I said thank you so much, I will wait. I had the interview yesterday. It was amazing. It is so nice and cute there. I got to snuggle a little Exotic Shorthair Babe named Biscuit. So close to home. Saw a client from Westgate, that was chill. They're all extra as fuck crazy cat ladies, just like me. They love smooshies, Persians, etc, like me. I told them there was a bidding war and I wouldn't go below $16. They asked me to just let them get their thoughts together and they'd call me soon.

& She called me right when I got home ... offered $16.75 with a $250 bonus after 90 days.
Y'all I just gave myself a $3.25 raise in less than two months. My first day is Thursday the 18th and I am actually excited.

// I've gone FULL crazy cat lady.
i'll find you beneath the ocean

freedom // sorta

Yesterday, ten minutes after I left the interview, Uptown Vet called me and offered me the position. Same $ I was making at BP, full benefits including dental, MATCHED 401k, how. Fuckin'. Blissful.

Still have an interview with City Cat Clinic on Monday, and have to hear back from Glen Lake Animal Hospital before the beginning of next week. I have fucked right out of Blue Pearl with a polite, professional "Resignation, effective immediately, thanks so much for the opportunity" and my tentative first day at Uptown is next Thursday, July 18th.

Hell yeah, bitch.
i'll find you beneath the ocean

snap, crackle, p o p

I don't know why, what exactly made it happen, or even when it happened, but since my last entry (only a few days ago?) I am DEFINITELY. Fucking right on out. Of Blue Pearl. Fuck them, they are absolutely horrible, I don't even really wanna get into it because I have such terrible awful feelings about all of it, suck a dick, suck a big ol' wanger, you're all fucking assholes, I hate you, goodbye. In fact I think I hate them SO much that I will not even give notice! I'll just ... NOT GO! THANKS FOR ALL THE MONEY, AND REALLY BAD VIBES! EXCEPT, WAIT!!! NO THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the last few days I've applied to 9 or so different vets and have three interviews set up. Must. Must, must, must, must. MUST get hired soon.

Subnautica is the only thing I have to look forward to these days.

I think I'll play it a bit right now. What's six more hours of my life wasted to fruitless base-building? The World will be unsustainable in less than fifty years, anyway.

// Fuck it, dude.
i'll find you beneath the ocean

Frag \\ Mented

It turns out I could not refrain from buying a bigger tank.

It's a 9 gallon Fluval Flex and I'm pretty obsessed. I found a new fish store (LFS, lolololol) called Sea Level and they have awesome deals. This was the same price (maybe cheaper?) as the 3 gallon Aquaponics tank, and he gave me the little bone guy and the cool sea shelf for FREE. FREE!!!!!!!

I ended up loving the Fluval so much that I went and bought ANOTHER Fluval for Takeshi -- a nice (used, slightly dirty) Spec III. I don't know when I got the idea, but I went to PetCo & they had them for like $90-ish. Instead of that I asked Sea Level to order new ones since they didn't have any on hand, and when I went in to check if it had arrived (it hadn't) they miraculously had a used one there for half the price. Then he took ANOTHER $10 off of the price for me, JUST OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF HIS HEART????????!!!!!?!?!??!?

Takeshi's in there having a grand ol' time. I haven't taken any pictures of that, yet.

I've spent a ridiculous amount of money on all this fish stuff, and a whole bunch more on other stuff. $1400 or so on bills alone -- but $580 of that was towards a BRAND ASS NEW BIANCHI BIKE, after I AWE-INSPIRINGLY GOT MY TAX RETURN THIS YEAR (the first time in maybe 4 years since I've been paying back defaulted school loans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). But let's not dwell on all that spent money, that shit's downright OUTLANDISH.

// Turns out I'm over my stint of Sims 3 obsession (they come and go) and have become even more obsessed with Subnautica.
The best game. I've ever played. In my entire life??????

I can't break free. It's all I've ever wanted. I drown happily for hours, hours, hours on end.

And soon it has a frozen world DLC being released, called Below Zero. Now trying to refrain from buying the Early Access version ... full release is scheduled for October. Can I wait?

// I think I hate my new job.
Not sure what I should do. But I don't want to get into it at the moment. Laying in this bed sucks, lol.